• Eve

Letting sleeping dogs lie - to therapy or not to therapy?

When I was in my early twenties I trained in counselling, it was a really important time for me personally as I started to get some insight into what I was feeling and where those feelings might have originated from, but also because the skills I was learning were helping me to work with other people, become a good listener and be more astute to non-verbal communication. But I did question whether this gave me enough tools to help me and other people move forward quickly and make lasting change.



For those that haven’t experienced any type of counselling, I do not under any circumstances want to put you off with where my thoughts are going on this, it has been a very useful experience for me on many occasions, I seriously worked through some really big life events benefiting greatly from having a counsellor to help me discuss thoughts and feelings. Only, now that I have access to a broader toolkit and have the understanding of neuro linguistic programme (NLP) and hypnotherapy, I have pondered the question; do you really need to rake into the past, talk through and through the same issues over and over? Is this the only way to be able to understand, know what the other peoples objectives in your story were, to find out if you had been ‘badly done to’ or had simply just been bumping into others who were trying their best to learn about themselves and life and find their way of coping and surviving at the very same time you had been? I am now in a place where I think there is a much slicker and less intrusive way to help people heal.


The message portrayed from those educating about the ‘law of attraction’ is not to go back and dig up the old, but to focus your energy and vibration into the direction that you are wanting to head, to attract what you want, not more of what you have had, that is no longer wanted. It would suggest that going back over the old, raking up the past would simply focus the energy in the wrong direction. Esther and Jerry Hicks who have written some fantastic books on law of attraction also have some great little stories many of which are accessible on YouTube and one that springs to mind is where they are in their monster bus and are following their sat navigation to get to a destination and quite quickly realise that they are going the wrong way, even though they are following the directions given to them from their device. Esther’s first comment was to go back to the start and go again to watch where it was that they started to go wrong and Jerry’s comment was ‘or we could just keep going right’. That little story has stayed with me as I think it provides a really simple and poignant message; why go back over all the stuff that was wrong, when being on the right path is within your grasp.


However this might be a little easier said than done for some topics as for some matters it is impossible to ‘keep going right’ if your integral belief system is not in line with the new direction. A quick example of this was when I was looking for a partner, I was so ready, I had been single for some time, it was time, I had so much love to give and I truly thought I was ready, I was focused and dating, but only managed to get to a first date. The second date/s were planned, but always cancelled and this happen more than a number of times! I didn’t get it, I had followed all the law of attraction rules on drawing the right man, being open, letting in the new, but still, I was attracting people that could not sustain even a second date, never mind a relationship. It was only with a little deeper look at my belief system using NLP that I realised my unconscious beliefs were ‘relationships don’t last’ and ‘love hurts’ so I was actually attracting exactly that, the law of attraction was doing its perfect job. I just didn’t realise that my words weren’t matching my beliefs and as the rules go, it is your vibration that attracts that which it is likened to and your vibration is governed by the beliefs… the words just don’t cut it. If this resonates with you, book onto Perfect Relationships here which will give you the tools to make the changes needed in your life.


Recently as I practice NLP with clients and from previous experience of using ‘The Journey’ by Brandon Bays (a technique for clearing old patterns for emotional and physical blocks), I more acutely recognise the purpose of going back to difficult times to gain whatever learning might have been available as a result of the event. It seems there is a benefit in accessing the sense of those challenging times gone by, to recognise it would be a very different experience if it were to happen now with the resources accessible to us as more experienced adults. Even just the realisation that you would address the situation differently now, if perceived through adult eyes, can be a valuable freeing lesson.


Where current day emotions and beliefs are still being affected by old and past experiences I do think there is great value in going back to clear and utilise the learning, but I do not think there is any value in talking about it for hours and hours, letting your energy shift back into that place, so that the old emotions are wakened in yourself and possibly having a knock on effect to those around you. Using NLP to clear negative emotions and limiting beliefs that may have been the result of our past experiences is a fantastic balance between getting to the root cause as in the counselling model and ‘keep going right’ as Jerry so rightly suggested. There are quick techniques that allow the individual to tap into their unconscious memory to achieve any learning and clear the negative emotions, leaving the individual to focus forward on the person they want to be, living the life they want to live. Throw in a handful of law of attraction guidance and very quickly people can heal, feel empowered and can start living the lives they want to be living, clear of the negative or limiting beliefs that may have been permeating their thoughts and affecting their behaviour, confidence and self-esteem.


For those that have experienced counselling and are open to addressing matters as they arise to find comfort in living and are always willing to learn and grow to be your best self, then you really need to consider trying NLP or hypnotherapy. It is such a great way to get focus, clear unwanted thoughts and feelings easily and leave you open and empowered to drive your own life. These tools for me have been the quickest way to allow me to really use the law of attraction learning for my own good. Now, if a sleeping dog is stirred within me, I acknowledge that it is there, I gently tickle the top of its head, taking any learning that is there until it softly drifts back into its quiet slumber. I do not take it on a ten mile hike, throw the ball around for a few hours or even try to teach it new tricks…no, the sleeping dogs in us are all part of our past, they may have some learning to share, so take the learning, but leave the old energy, those old emotions, those negative, tough times right where they are in the belly of that dog and move forward. It’s time.

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Eve Holder
Stockton-on-Tees TS21 1NA

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